Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My younger brother with ADHD lacks a father figure and struggles with bad influences. He doesn’t pray consistently and associates with negative, harmful company, partly due to being off his medication. If he stays in our home country, he lacks proper treatment; if he returns to the UK, he risks falling into gang culture. How should we address his situation?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your worry and frustration and I pray that you find a solution as neither option seems good.

Options

See if you can find someone reliable and trustworthy for him to live in the UK with. This way, he can be well and pursue study or work while he is there.

Another option is to see if he can get enough medicine to last him a while and bring it back with him to his home country. Many doctors give online appointments, and if blood test results are provided, doctors can update prescriptions. Look into all of this.

Gentleness

Advise him gently because the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Maja]

If advice doesn’t work, pray for him, spend time with him, pray with him, and don’t nag him about too many things. Try to get him involved in volunteering, helping others, exercising, and spending time outdoors. These things are therapeutic, and daily routines help a lot. Give charity in his name because few problems are not corrected through this tremendous blessed act.

Please say this dua, taken from the words of the Quran:

   اللَّهُمَ حَبَّبْ إِلَيْنَا الْإِيمَانَ وَزَيِّنْهُ فِي قُلُوبِنَا، وَكَرِّهْ إِلَيْنَا الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الرَّاشِدِينَ

O Allah, make our faith beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts and make hateful to us disbelief, wickedness and disobedience, and make me of those rightly-guided.

Please see more details and tips here:

• What Are the Criteria for Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil?
• How Can I Deal With Living With My Brother’s Drug Problem?
• How to Deal With Difficult Siblings?
• What Are My Responsibilities towards My Sinful Younger Sister?
• How Should I Deal with a Relative Who Constantly Expects Me to Help Her?
• How Can I Guide My Irreligious Family?
• My ADHD Behavior Is Ruining My Parents’ Lives. What Can I Do?
• Being Balanced – Emotional and Mental Health – Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.