I Abused Someone. How Do I Forgive Myself and Move On?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam ‘aleykum.

I use a lot of water to clean myself after relieving myself. If not I feel I have not purified myself. I spend a lot of time checking for possible urine drops.

Doing istinja takes me about 30-40 minutes and this causes trouble to my family. Can you advise me on this?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

Seek refuge from the devil, and make a short supplication before you begin.

Do not try to be cautious. Mind talk delights the devil– the one who actually seeds such misgivings.

You need to ignore your “feelings,” and leave investigation and “being convinced.” Your washings should not exceed seven. Pouring and then rubbing is considered one washing.

Most of what you mention is excessiveness and misgivings, and not what the scholars of Islam said to do.

Please also see: A Reader on Ritual Purity, Urine Leakage and Misgivings and: A Reader on Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings)

And Allah alone knows best.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

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"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)