Did a Divorce Occur When Words Were Said in a Fight Without Intention?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

Can I get divorced if my husband said ‘I divorce you’ twice during a fight without real intent? He says he only said it once, is unsure whether he used ‘I’ or ‘I’ll,’ and believes divorce happens only if said thrice.

I told him he’s wrong, but I’m unsure whether he used the exact words. I want to believe he did, even though I fear divorce and living in sin.

I tell myself he did, but I hesitate because I don’t want a divorce.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

In the above case, two divorces did occur despite the uncertainty. It is incorrect to believe that divorce occurs only after the issuance of three divorces. However, you are married, as you both got together at some point.

The Ruling of a Revocable Divorce

When a man divorces his wife with a single or two revocable divorce pronouncements, he may take her back during her waiting period (idda), whether the woman consents to the retraction or does not.

To revoke a divorce, one must say, ‘I take you back,’ or engage in an act of intimacy, such as a kiss or a hug. They become a married couple again.

How to Revoke a Clear Divorce

If the husband shows any physical affection during the three months of the waiting period (idda), which is three menstrual periods, the divorce is automatically revoked. They will become a married couple again.  [Maydani, ‘Al-Lubab Fi Sharh al-Kitab; ‘Ibn ʿAbidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Divorce is a Serious Matter

Divorce is serious and should only be pronounced after advice and consultation with a reliable scholar. Many people say it and find themselves breaking up a family in a terrible situation simply because they didn’t understand, learn, and follow the clear rules and procedures.

And Allah knows best.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

• After Two Divorces, Should Spouses Facing Anger or Abuse Reconcile or Separate, Especially With Children? -Timestamp: 13:04-17:47
• Can I Revoke My Two Divorces Before the End of the Waiting Period (Idda)? – SeekersGuidance -In a revocable divorce (ṭalāq raj’i), a husband can take his wife back during the waiting period (ʿiddah) after one or two divorces, and this does not require her consent.
• Does Divorce Come into Effect in Extreme Anger? (seekersguidance.org) -In Hanafi fiqh, divorce said in anger still counts in most cases. It is only invalid if the person was so extremely angry that they lost full awareness or control, like temporary insanity.

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.