Is a Parent’s Dua Accepted Over a Daughter’s in Marriage?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

When parents pray for a marriage their daughter does not want, and the daughter prays to be protected from it, whose dua is accepted?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray Allah Most High eases your situation and softens every heart involved toward what is best.

Be assured, every sincere dua is heard by Allah Most High. But the answer does not always come in the form that the one praying imagined.

The question is not whose dua wins. Rather, ask what Allah Most High knows is best for me in this life and the next. That is what He truly answers.

Understanding the Wisdom of Allah’s Answering Supplications

Imam Ibn Ata’illah (Allah have mercy on him) wrote in al-Hikam, “Sometimes He gives by withholding. And sometimes He withholds by giving.” [Ibn Ata‘illah, al-Hikam]

So both parents and daughter may, in truth, be receiving the answer to their dua, only not in the form they expected.

Allah Most High’s withholding is, at times, His most generous gift.

The classical principle is clear: every sincere dua is answered.

The Messenger of Mercy (Allah bless him and give him peace) explained that the answer may be what was asked, or something better in this life, or a reward stored for the next. [As reported by Imam Ahmad and others]

Allah Most High says, “Call upon Me — I will respond to you.” [Quran 40:60; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

Allah calls us to ask. He commits to answering—the how and when remain with Him.

Marriage Decisions: Consideration, Consultation, and the Prayer of Seeking Guidance (Istikhara)

For a decision on marriage, consider the matter carefully, consult, and then pray the prayer of seeking guidance (istikhara).

The reality of istikhara is straightforward and worth understanding clearly. The answer is your inclination toward what is best for you in din and dunya, short and long term, directly and indirectly. [SeekersGuidance, The Reality of Istikhara]

Make istikhara sincerely as many times as needed and watch where the heart settles. Ask yourself which choice is most pleasing to Allah, all relevant things considered.

In Marriage

Regarding the marriage itself, a daughter retains the right of refusal. The Sacred Law grants her this right, and parents cannot compel her into a marriage she does not want.

At the same time, parents are owed consultation, respect, and good treatment. Their counsel deserves sincere hearing and deep consideration since they often see what younger eyes do not.

The choice itself, however, is hers.

[See: SeekersGuidance, Parents’ Interference in Marriage; SeekersGuidance, When May Parents Be Disobeyed].

The Path Forward

The path forward is calm and adab-filled. Each side makes istikhara. The daughter consults her parents, listens carefully, and explains her reasons without sharpness.

The parents listen, and they speak from love rather than pressure. Both then wait on the inclinations of the heart and on the unfolding of events.

Where an impasse remains, consult a trusted scholar who knows the family.

And rest assured: the believer’s dua is never wasted. It will return as a mercy — in this life or the next.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

• The Reality of Istikhara
  Explanation of the true meaning of istikhara beyond dreams and signs, and how believers should approach divine guidance.
• Parents’ Interference in Marriage
  Discusses the limits of parental involvement in marriage decisions and the balance between counsel and control.
• When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?
  Explores situations in which obedience to parents is not obligatory and the Islamic etiquette of respectful disagreement.
• Marriage & Obedience to Parents
  Examines the relationship between marital responsibilities and filial obedience in Islamic ethics and law.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” published by White Thread Press in 2004, which is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.