What Matters Most in Selecting a Future Husband?
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
What is the Islamic guidance for choosing a spouse if I have concerns about the person’s emotional character and future loyalty, even though I feel spiritually connected to them?
I am a non-Muslim woman who is learning about Islam and already believes in it. I pray, read, and feel deeply connected to Islam, and I want to become Muslim soon, insha’Allah.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
Before addressing your question, I would like to express joy in your feeling a connection with Islam. I would highly encourage you to take that final step of conversion to solidify that connection.
Prophetic Criteria for Choosing a Spouse
When a woman is seeking a husband, the following Prophetic guidance is very useful to make that decision:
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“When one whose religious practice of Islam and character pleases you proposes to you, marry your daughters to him. If you do not, there will be strife in the land and great corruption.” [Tirmidhi]
Other Considerations
In addition to the aforementioned narration, there are some ways to vet a potential spouse.
If you have a family member or trusted person who can spend time with this potential spouse as a test of his character. Alternatively, you or someone on your behalf can ask those who have spent time, travelled, or done business with this person.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he went on to study at Darul Uloom Seminary in New York and completed his studies at Darul Mustafa in Tarim, Yemen.
There, he completed the memorization of the Quran and his study of Islamic Sciences. Throughout his years of study, he was blessed to learn from many great scholars: Habib Umar bin Hafiz, Habib Kazhim al-Saqqaf, Shaykh ‘Umar bin Husayn al-Khatib, and others.
Upon returning, he joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.
