Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Is it permissible to choose not to marry due to widespread disregard for religious values in potential spouses?

Answer

Thank you for your question. It is sunna to marry, and you should make dua for a pious and religious spouse; there is no need to swear off marriage or settle for someone irreligious.

Religious

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) encouraged Muslims to marry for the right reason, saying, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, or her piety. Select the pious; may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari; Muslim] This applies to both genders.

At the same time, if you get a decent proposal, your guardian should remember this hadith: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (the charge, i.e., daughter) of one of you, then marry him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (fitna) in the land and abounding corruption (fasad).” [Tirmidhi]

That being said, if you are not finding the right kind of suitor, suggest to your guardian, brother, or married friends to help you find someone in the right circles. Perhaps search at Islamic institutes, Islamic universities, or even in a Muslim country instead of a Western country. May Allah give you success in marrying for the sake of Allah and your deen.

Dua

Please pray the Prayer of Need and make abundant dua for a pious spouse:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً

˹They are those who pray, “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]

Please see more details here:

• Should I Marry a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Religious Enough?
• Should I Marry a Guy Whose Ideologies Seem Extreme to Me?
• My Spouse Is Not as Religious as I. What Should I Do?
• How Does One Perform the Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja)?
• Important Traits to Look for in a Prospective Spouse
• What Questions Should I Ask Someone I Intend to Marry?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.