Does a Serious Past Sin Prevent You From Marriage and Family?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

In my past, I committed a serious wrong that was never brought to light or punished. I have since repented. Does this wrong disqualify me, in the eyes of the Sharia, from marrying and raising a family of my own?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.

No. If you have sincerely repented from a sin, it does not prevent you from marriage or from raising children. In the Sharia, a sin that is truly repented from is not a lasting stain. The way to a wholesome life—a spouse, a home, children—remains open to you by Allah’s mercy.

This is the explicit teaching of our religion. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who has no sin.” [Ibn Maja] Read that as it stands. The one who turns back is returned, in Allah’s reckoning, to the state of one who never fell.

And the mercy beneath this is wider still. Allah Most High says: “Say, ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their very selves, despair not of the mercy of Allah: Verily Allah forgives all sins soever: Truly He is the All-forgiving, the All-compassionate.’” [Quran 39:53; Keller, The Quran Beheld] All sins soever. Nothing in your past lies outside that promise once you have turned back to Him.

Two Kinds of Wrong, and How Each Is Healed

To repent well, it helps to know what you are repenting from. Wrongs fall into two kinds, and they are not mended in the same way.

The first type is a sin that is only against the right of Allah, and does not harm another person. This is lifted by sincere repentance: regret, leaving the sin, and a firm resolve not to return.

The second is a wrong against another person’s right (haqq al-adami). Here, Imam Ghazali (Allah have mercy on him) teaches in the Ihya that repentance toward Allah is not enough on its own. Where you are able, you must restore what was taken or seek the pardon of the one you wronged. Where you genuinely cannot — the person has died, or cannot be found, or reaching them would cause greater harm — the path is to multiply good deeds and turn to Allah in seeking forgiveness (istighfar) and supplication (du’a) for the one you wronged, so that good stands in the scale on your behalf.

There is hope that should bring your heart ease. On the Day of Judgment, Allah, in His generosity, may reconcile between you and the one wronged, so that both are brought into His mercy. What you cannot resolve in this life, Allah can resolve in the next.

What True Repentance Actually Lifts From You

There is a deeper point that may free you from a burden you are still carrying. Imam Junayd (Allah have mercy on him) was asked about the reality of repentance, and he said it is “that you forget your sin.” His teacher, Imam Sari al-Saqati (Allah have mercy on him), had held the opposite — that repentance is “that you never forget your sin,” so that humility stays alive. When the two discussed it, Junayd gave his reason: once Allah has carried you from the state of estrangement into the state of nearness, to keep recalling that old estrangement is itself a kind of estrangement. [Qushayri, al-Risala al-Qushayriyya]

Both of these states have a place on the path. But take the lesson from Junayd: once you have truly repented, you are not required to keep recalling the sin. Continually returning to it in your mind is not piety; it may be what keeps you from the closeness Allah has already granted you. You have repented. Leave the past behind you.

Marriage and Children Are Open to You

Move forward. You are not required to disclose a forgiven and concealed sin to a prospective spouse or to anyone else. Allah is al-Sittir, the Veiler, who has covered your sin in this world. Do not remove with your own hand the veil that Allah has placed over you.

There is one exception. If the wrong involves a current legal or safety concern that affects others, you must address that with the appropriate professional, such as a scholar, counselor, or lawyer, as needed. This is a matter of present responsibility, not your spiritual standing before Allah.

You are not defined by your worst day. You are someone whom Allah has accepted back. Marry, build your home, and raise your children. Let the past remain where your Lord has placed it: behind you, forgiven.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

1. Will Allah Forgive Major Sins Against Others After Sincere Repentance, Du’a, Charity, and Reform?
2. What Is Sincere Repentance?
3. How Do I Overcome My Guilt Over Past Sins?
4. Is Sincere Repentance Sufficient If One Still Owes Someone Their Rights?

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” published by White Thread Press in 2004, which is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.