How Do I Protect My Marriage When My Husband Contacts Someone He Proposed To?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My husband’s ongoing communication with a woman he previously proposed to is causing emotional distress and threatening our marriage. How can I address this issue and protect my marriage?
Answer
Thank you for your question. It is not permissible for your husband to communicate with her, and unwise, and you must openly and patiently explain this to him.
Gender Interaction
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran,
“Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way.” [Quran, 17:32]
Abu Mas‘ud ‘Uqba narrated that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“One of the sayings of the prophets which the people have gotten is. ‘If you do not feel ashamed, then do whatever you like.’” [Bukhari]
In Islamic law, gender interaction means that a man does not hang out, chat, call or text someone of the opposite gender. He may not be alone with her or touch her. These guidelines are what will protect your marriage by Allah’s grace.
Tips
- Start with praying on time, making fervent du`a at tahajjud time and eliminating haram from your life.
- Communicate with him that his behaviour is hurting the marriage and displeases Allah Most High.
- Tell him that you are considering getting in touch with a man who proposed to you, and you would like his opinion on that (don’t do it though).
- Encourage him to take you to the mosque and do more religious activities together.
- Befriend families that are positive, pious, and decent; invite them, and let the goodness rub off.
Dua
Please make this Quranic supplication regularly:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً
“Our Lord! Bless us with (pious) spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]
Please see more details here:
- What is the proper gender interaction in Islam?
- Can a Married Man Have Close Female Friends?
- How Should I Deal with a Husband Who Gets Emotionally Involved with Other Women?
- What Should a Wife Do if She Finds Her Husband Speaking to a Woman on Snapchat
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
