Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Is an adult brother allowed to insult or hit his elder sister unless she commits a sinful act? Is the sister allowed to retaliate, and how should she respond?
Thank you for your question. It is not permissible for a man to hit his sister, even if she is sinning, and she has the right to defend herself.
Shaykh Abdullah Misra mentions, “As a general rule, it is sinful and strictly prohibited for a Muslim to harm or hurt another human being, Muslim or not, on the pretext of giving “religious admonishment” or defending one’s honor and similar excuses.
Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said in a rigorously authenticated hadith, “The [true] Muslim is one whom the generality of Muslims [including non-Muslim citizens as well] are safe from his tongue and his hand.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Please see the rest of his answer here:
Is Beating Someone Permissible When Defending One’s Honor or as a Religious Admonishment?
Likewise, it is not permissible for your sibling to insult or make fun of you. Do not stand for it; set boundaries, communicate to them that you don’t accept it, and if nothing else works, leave the room. Please don’t stoop to their level and insult back. Say this dua of Prophet Moses (Allah give him peace) from the Quran, “I seek refuge in my Lord and yours against your insults!” [Quran, 44:20]
Please see this link:
Doubting My Ability to Succeed Due to Insults from Family and Friends
Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan states:
However, it is permissible to retaliate by harming one who hits you or intends to harm you. Fiqh devotes a specific chapter to defending oneself from one who intends to or does harm you by hurting your person, wealth, or blood. It is permissible to protect yourself by any means necessary, even killing.
However, the jurists say one may only deflect harm from another by the lightest means. So, if it is possible to defend yourself by speaking or calling for help, hitting is not permissible. You may not hit with a whip if you can hit with your hand. If it is possible to hit with a whip, you may not use a stick, etc. Therefore, it is permissible to defend yourself from someone who intends to harm you. You may hit him if there are no other sufficient means to protect yourself from harm from him. [al-Mawsu’a al-Fiqhiyya]
Please read the rest of his answer here:
May Allah Most High give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.