Do I Have To Maintain Ties With My Brother Who Married Without Parental Consent?

Question:

My brother got married without my parent’s consent last year. My parent’s main objection to his marriage was the limited amount of time he had known the girl (under 1 month) and the fact that neither were financially stable to take on their own responsibilities. My father and our sisters have not spoken to my brother in about a year. Do I have to reach out to my brother to maintain ties of kinship with him and his wife?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Yes, you need to maintain family ties with your brother. This is something highly emphasized in Islam. You should also slowly convince your family to do the same.

It is understandable that your parents may have wanted a more active role in his marriage, and his hasty approach may have upset them. However, ultimately, the Shari’a gave him the choice, and he made it. Is the matter so serious that it warrants not speaking to him again? What about his future children? What wrong did they do?

You should speak to your brother. Allah dislikes it when people sever family ties. Do it for Allah, and you will see a lot of good from it.

It is also worth getting your brother to apologize to your parents. Yes, he was within his right to choose who to marry, but the process ended up hurting your parents. For that, he should apologize. Perhaps that will be the road to resolution.

Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to please consult reliable local scholars or counselors about the specifics of the situation. Jazakum Allah khayr. May Allah facilitate all ease and good for you. 

 

May Allah facilitate the matter for you all.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.