Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I’m a counselor and work mostly with young Muslim women. I’ve been asked this question very often, hence would like to know the opinion of all four madhabs if possible? I understand that masturbation is haram but how should I advise young unmarried Muslim women?
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for helping these young women and for trying to guide them to solutions through Islam. You are showing them the very best and we need more counselors like you in the ummah.
It is permissible to use sex toys for married couples; please see the details here:
It is imperative that you tell these young women not to masturbate nor to approach sex toys, nor to seek any sexual fulfillment until they are married. I’m sure you have the science to back up the fact that is not good practice for them and will only lead to unhealthy, addictive, and possibly immoral, behaviors. It is prohibited in Islam, only for our benefit.
Instead, they should take the Prophet’s advice (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.” [Ibn Majah]
A young woman who is sexually frustrated should take the means to reduce her frustration, by reducing her time on screens, lowering her gaze, not letting her thoughts go wild, fasting, eating healthier, and exercising. She should keep away from lewd movies, music videos, erotic novels, and do what benefits her. Volunteering to help others, serving one’s family, and spending time learning, remembering Allah, praying, supplicating, and bonding with pious people are the best ways to lift oneself out of a bad place.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.