Should a Parent Insult or Hit Their Child Or Withhold Provisions?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Does a parent have the right to insult or physically hit their child for mistakes? How should one address parents prioritizing personal expenses, like Umrah, over fulfilling a child’s essential needs?
Answer
Thank you for your question. A parent may not abuse their child, though they have a right to discipline them, requiring delicate balance. Withholding money for essential needs is not permissible.
Abuse
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“The believer does not insult the honour of others, nor curse, is not vulgar, nor is he foul.” [Tirmidhi]
This hadith is not meant to apply to strangers but rather to everyone, especially family. Parents will be accountable for their abuse and must repent. It is not permissible to insult, humiliate, neglect, or abuse children of any age in any form whatsoever, and any parent should be ashamed of doing so even if he is ignorant, careless, or a fool.
Please see more details here regarding child abuse:
- Is There a Verse or Hadith That Directly Addresses Child Abuse?
- What Can I Do About Parental Abuse?
- Can I Hit My Child?
- Domestic Violence Has No Place in Islam: Importance of Rights & Conduct
- My Mother Abuses Her Children. What Do I Do?
Provision
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“It is shockingly wicked for a person to withhold from those he is to provide for.” [Muslim]
A parent may not withhold the essential provisions for a child and use that money for ‘umra instead. This is sinful. Try communicating openly with your parent and make du`a at tahajjud, and after your prayers, that they understand what you are trying to tell them.
Dua
Please make this supplication from the Quran daily and remember that the supplication of the victim of abuse is always answered:
رَبّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي، وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمرِي
“My Lord, expand for me my chest (with assurance). And ease for me my task.” [Quran 20:25-26]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):
“Beware of the supplication of the oppressed; for indeed there is no barrier between it and Allah.” [Tirmidhi]
Please see more details here:
- Abusive parents Archives
- A Traumatic Childhood: Turning to Allah in Difficult Times
- How Should I Handle Abusive Parents? – SeekersGuidance
- How Do We Deal With Parents Who Emotionally Abuse Their Children?
- Dealing Problems With Abusive Father – SeekersGuidance
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.