How Can I Ensure My Child Gets Proper Islam Despite My Ex-Spouse?


Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

How can I ensure my child receives proper Islamic teachings if my ex-spouse’s approach conflicts with my beliefs?

Answer

Thank you for your question. Co-parenting is not easy, so you should communicate with him/her as much as you can and do your best. Leave the rest to Allah and constantly make du`a for your child.

Islamic Teachings

Despite being a co-parent, you must do your utmost to impart the knowledge of Islamic obligations and etiquette to your child. Allah Most High will undoubtedly help you in this if you seek help through Him.

Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar said that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Please see more details here:

Tips

While your child is under your care, ensure you are praying on time, covering yourself correctly, paying zakat, fasting Ramadan and reading the Quran every day with the meaning. Additionally, employ a teacher to teach the child to read the Quran, memorize some, and read through the life of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and the meaning of the Quran in English.

Maintain Islamic etiquette in the home with love, compassion and mercy, and by Allah’s grace, the child will come to see which lifestyle aligns with human nature and God’s good pleasure.

Dua

Say these supplications daily:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ

“O my Lord! make me one who establishes regular prayer, and also (raise such) among my offspring O our Lord! and accept Thou my Prayer. [Quran, 14:40]

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]

اللَّهُمَ حَبَّبْ إِلَيْنَا الْإِيمَانَ وَزَيِّنْهُ فِي قُلُوبِنَا، وَكَرِّهْ إِلَيْنَا الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الرَّاشِدِينَ

O Allah, make our faith beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts and make hateful to us disbelief, wickedness and disobedience, and make me of those rightly-guided. [Dua taken from the Quran, 49:7]

Please see these links as well:

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.