Is it Sinful to Advise Ending an Engagement Due to Mistreatment While Having Impermissible Feelings?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I once was close to a female online classmate, a divorcee with two kids. She got engaged due to family pressure and mockery, but was unhappy because her fiancé insulted her. I advised her to prioritize her peace, leading her to end the engagement. I also confessed I had feelings for her, which I now see as morally wrong. I’m worried I’ve sinned and it may harm my future marriage.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
Your advice to her to look carefully and speak to her family was important. However, your feelings toward her in this way were sinful. Just repent and ask for forgiveness. You will not face consequences in your future, insha’Allah.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” [Ibn Maja]
Follow Every Evil Deed with a Good One
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]
Channel your remorse into drawing closer to Allah Most High. Pursue marriage when the time is right, through proper and lawful means. Pray the Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja), dedicate time to studying the sacred sciences, and strengthen your practice. Devote yourself entirely to Allah Most High, and you will come to love what He loves and dislike what He dislikes.
And Allah knows best.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
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Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Currently, he resides in the UK with his wife and enjoys reading and gardening.
