How Can I Change My Life and Raise My Children as Good Muslims?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am a born Muslim who strayed and now wants to return to the path of Islam. I have two young boys with a Catholic man, and I lied to my family about him converting and us being married Islamically. After my father’s passing, I am determined to raise my sons as Muslims and change my life. How can I rectify my situation and guide my children toward Islam?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I commend you and praise Allah Most High for having given you beautiful guidance. By Allah’s grace, you will find your life and the future of your children transformed.
Repentance
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “As for those who repent, mend their ways, and let the truth be known, they are the ones to whom I will turn ˹in forgiveness˺, for I am the Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful. [Quran, 2:160]
And He has told us in the Quran, “Whoever commits evil or wrongs themselves then seeks Allah’s forgiveness will certainly find Allah All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Quran, 4:110]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. O son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]
Marriage
If you are still with the Catholic man, you should make a plan to leave him or ask him to convert. Staying with him as he is is not an option. Ask him to read the Quran, visit a local imam or research online; our website has many valuable resources. I can feel the urgency in your question of wanting to provide for your children after your father has passed. Please review the proper upbringing of Muslim children in the links below. Generally speaking, you would teach them how to pray, how to read the Quran, read to them the life of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) from beginning to end, instruct them in the proper etiquettes of washing, cleanliness, wudu, ghusl, eating, drinking and so forth and give them ample time in the mosque.
You
As for yourself, you must rediscover the promise that your soul made to your Lord before you even had a body. This is the day mentioned in the words of Allah Most High, “When thy Lord drew forth from the Children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants, and made them testify concerning themselves, (saying): “Am I not your Lord (who cherishes and sustains you)?”- They said: “Yea! We do testify!” (This), lest ye should say on the Day of Judgment: “Of this, we were never mindful.” [Quran, 7:172]
Turn to Allah in worship and remembrance, and surround yourself with like-minded people. Spend time reading the Quran with its meaning and take free courses with us to increase your knowledge and practice of this perfect religion.
Du`a
Please say these supplications daily:
رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ
“O my Lord! make me one who establishes regular prayer, and also (raise such) among my offspring O our Lord! and accept Thou my Prayer.” [Quran, 14:40]
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]
اللَّهُمَ حَبَّبْ إِلَيْنَا الْإِيمَانَ وَزَيِّنْهُ فِي قُلُوبِنَا، وَكَرِّهْ إِلَيْنَا الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الرَّاشِدِينَ
O Allah, make our faith beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts and make hateful to us disbelief, wickedness and disobedience, and make me of those rightly-guided. [Du`a taken from the Quran, 49:7]
Please see more details here:
– How Can We Instill a Love for Islamic Knowledge in Our Children?
– Educating Children
– What Is the Ruling on Raising Children in Islam?
– Six Steps to Instilling the Attribute of Courage in Muslim Children
– Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
– What Are the Foundations for Building Islamic Character for Children?
– What Is the Ruling on Raising Children in Islam?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.