How Should a Family Respond to Abuse by a Relative?
Hanafi Fiqh
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
A young girl was touched inappropriately by her uncle. She did not want this. He exploited her love and trust. How should the family deal with this?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
This is very serious.
The family’s first responsibility is to protect the child. Ensure that the person who harmed her has no further access to her, in any setting. In many countries, it is a legal duty to report such harm to child protective services.
It can also be a moral and religious responsibility.
Seek qualified, experienced scholarly guidance and professional support for her healing and to discuss the right way forward.
Her safety and well-being come before all else.
Grave Sin and Serious Harm
What happened to this young girl is a grave sin and a serious harm. Islam is unambiguous: the bodies and dignity of children are sacred.
No bond—not family, not love, not even the trust of a close unmarriageable relative (mahram) — gives anyone a right over her body.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “There should be no harm and no causing of harm.” [Ibn Maja; Malik]
Protect Her First
The family’s duty is to protect, not to preserve appearances. The uncle must not be allowed any further access to her, whether alone or in any gathering where she is present.
What matters here is the trust that was broken, not the family connection.
In many countries, anyone with knowledge or a reasonable suspicion of child sexual abuse must report to child protective services. This is a legal requirement.
It can also be a religious one when there is any possibility of further harm to that child or others.
Reporting harm to protect the vulnerable is not betrayal—it fulfills the command to stand firmly for justice. [Quran, 4:135]
Her Healing Is the Priority
The child needs professional support. Seeking guidance from qualified and experienced experts is essential.
Many Muslim therapists offer care that is sensitive to faith and culture.
To find such support, consider reaching out to local mosques or Islamic centers, which often have referrals for trusted Muslim therapists or counselors.
You can also look for Muslim mental health organizations online or ask community leaders for recommendations. Please seek this support for her.
Do not pressure her to forgive, remain silent, or reconcile. Her healing is the priority.
If forgiveness comes, it is hers to give, in her own time and from her own strength. She must never be made to feel responsible for what happened, or for its consequences. She was wronged. This is the only fact that matters here.
At the same time, parents and family members may experience a range of difficult emotions, including guilt, anger, sadness, and confusion.
These feelings are understandable, and you are not alone in experiencing them.
It is important for parents to also seek support if needed, such as by talking with trusted scholars or professionals.
Caring for your own well-being will help you be there for your child and the entire family.
What Protects the Vulnerable Is What Islam Requires
Allah Most High commands justice, even when it concerns one’s own family.
He says, “O you who believe, be ever champions of justice, giving complete and accurate testimony for the sake of Allah, even against yourselves, or parents and closest family.” [Quran, 4:135; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
The family’s willingness to seek guidance and help, rather than remain silent, is an act of courage and faith. I commend you for it.
But keep in mind that healing is a journey. This journey often requires ongoing support and patience for both the child and the family.
Allah Most High says, “O you who believe, seek help through patience and the prayer; Verily Allah is with the dauntlessly patient.” [Quran, 2:153; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
It is important to remember that recovery may take time, and continued care, compassion, and qualified guidance can help everyone involved persevere along the way.
May Allah heal this young woman, grant the family wisdom and strength, and bring justice and wholeness to all involved.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
What Is the Ruling on Child Sexual Abuse in Islam?
Explains the grave prohibition and severe sin of child sexual abuse in Islamic law and ethics.
Was My Childhood Sexual Abuse Due to Allah Punishing Me?
Clarifies that abuse is never a sign of divine punishment upon the victim and offers spiritual and emotional counsel.
Is a Father Who Molests His Daughter Still Considered Her Mahram?
Discusses the legal ruling regarding maḥram status despite the enormity of such abuse.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.
Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.
In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.
Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.
Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School.” This book, published by White Thread Press in 2004, is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.
His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
