How Can I Escape My Curse of Failure in Life and Suicidal Thoughts?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
A person is struggling with failure in life, experiencing suicidal thoughts, and the family previously dealt with someone who may have engaged in inappropriate practices. Could this be a curse, and how should it be addressed?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I urge you not to look at yourself as a failure and rather remember that Allah (Most High) loves you as a believer and will judge according to your faith and good deeds, and not according to standards that modern society deems important.
Professional
Allah (Most High) has told us in the Quran, “O believers! Do not devour one another’s wealth illegally, but rather, trade by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves. Indeed Allah is ever Merciful to you. [Quran; 4:29]
I urge you to seek professional help if you are having suicidal thoughts. Consult local, reliable scholars for guidance and advice in your area. They might point you out to a therapist, counselor, self-help group, or something else beneficial. You can also speak to your doctor.
Wondrous
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) told us in a hadith qudsi that Allah (Most High) said: “I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I can do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I, too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” [Bukhari]
And Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “How peculiar is the matter of the believer! Everything is always to his advantage! And that doesn’t apply to anyone save a believer. If he enjoys a benefit, he is grateful, and it is even better for him; if he suffers a difficulty, he is patient, and it is even better for him.”[Muslim]
Based on these hadith, we should always have a positive outlook on our experiences in life and know that everything is always to our advantage.
Tribulation, Not Curse
You are not cursed, rather, you are undergoing tribulations and trials. These tests can be disguised as blessings and bring numerous benefits in ways we can’t understand. I urge you to be patient and steadfast and use them to develop in yourself qualities that you could not have obtained otherwise.
Sa‘d Ibn Abi Waqqas, said, “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’” [Ibn Maja]
Tips
- Do your utmost to eliminate the haram and makruh from your life. This might require taking a course with us on the halals and harams of daily life.
- Make sure your food and income are halal and don’t engage in usury.
- Remember that many blessings are hidden in trials and tribulations.
- Thank Allah daily for what you have, and Allah (Most High) will increase you.
- Give to charity or volunteer with disadvantaged communities.
- Perform your adhkar (litanies, daily invocations) morning and evening.
- Read the Quran daily with the meaning, even if a little.
- Pray on time.
- Don’t spend much time alone, hang out with good religious friends, go to the gym, sit in the mosque, take walks, help others, volunteer, change your habits.
- Exercise and eat healthy; drop the junk food from your life.
- Reduce screen time dramatically and read more.
Please see more details here and say the duas in the third link:
- The 17 Benefits of Tribulation
- Dealing With Tribulations: A Comprehensive Reader
- What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?
- Is Suicide My Best Option?
- The Strong Believer-Healthy Bodies, Minds, and Souls
- Chaos in My Life
- Why Is Everything Going Wrong in My Life?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
