Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Is there any way of asking Allah to give me back the person that I loved?
I was in a relationship for two months with this guy and I honestly loved him for who he is, such as the way he recited the Quran. However, I found out that he was talking to another girl behind my back. Eventually, we broke up and he has a new person in his life and claims that he loves her.
It’s been two years and it’s still hard for me to love anyone else and forget about him. Even when I go through difficulties, after relying on Allah, he is what I think about. I don’t know why but I have this belief that Allah will return him to me but I don’t want to give myself false hope.
Thank you for your question. If this boy was in an illicit relationship with you, it means that he did not fear God, and didn’t respect you. Please forget about him.
If you are considering trying to get back with a man who didn’t treat you well, didn’t have enough respect for you to propose to you, and doesn’t fear God, making him absolutely inappropriate as a father to your children, you must wake up. Please consider only the Prophet’s advice for choosing a spouse, as he said, (Allah bless him and give him peace), “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim] Start off by repenting to Allah for this relationship and praying for a pious husband.
Cut Him Off
Take all the means necessary to cut him out of your mind. When he enters your thoughts, remember Allah, bless the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), and seek refuge from the Devil. These thoughts will never help you. As long as you counter the thoughts with dhikr (remembrance of God), the Devil will tire of his fruitless efforts and stop reminding you of Him. Although you may think of him when you face difficulties, it is simply because he is all that you have known until now. By Allah’s grace, you will meet someone who will truly love you, love God and His Messenger, and only be interested in being with you in a halal marital relationship.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.