Should I Attend a Family Wedding with Alcohol, Mixing and Music?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is it permissible to attend my wife’s sister’s wedding, which may involve gender mixing, alcohol, and music? We are concerned about family ties and potential strain on our marriage if we don’t attend. They also want our 1-year-old to be the ring bearer.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I commend you for your desire to obey your Creator and not the created, may Allah make it easy for you to find the right tactful and wise response.
Obedience to the Creator
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator. [Bukhari; Muslim]
In the presence of such blatant sin, how can one be worried about the opinion of others? As long as your actions are pleasing to Allah and you put him first, rest assured that you will be blessed in your decision and that others will eventually follow suit, by His grace. Deep down, they know you are right.
Alcohol
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where wine is being drunk.” [Ahmad]
Sitting at a table where alcohol is consumed increases the gathering of sinful people. And it shows acceptance of what they are doing, and that is not permissible for Muslims. [Sarakhsi, al-Mabsut]
Pleasing People
Although you cannot please people in the way that they want you to, there are some things that you can do instead:
- Get a good gift for the bride and groom.
- Show up for the first ten minutes to congratulate the elders and the couple, then leave before the alcohol and mixing appear.
- Don’t be condescending or rude about your decision, but tell them that you hope the family starts having halal weddings so that you can join.
- Be polite and respectful about it always.
- Visit the couple after the wedding or invite them to dinner.
Please see these links as well:
- Mixed Gatherings: A Detailed Response Regarding Gender Interaction
- Is It Permissible to Attend a Mixed Gathering? [Video]
- Can I Attend a Wedding with Music and FreeMixing – Live Seekers Answers – Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
- Can I Attend My Nephew’s First Birthday Party When There Is Alcohol Being Served?
- Can I Attend a Wedding with Music Playing in the Background?
- What is Extravagance (Israf) in a Wedding Celebration?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.