Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I was in a long-distance relationship with a girl who lives far away. We are both Muslims and we don’t talk anymore after we realized what we were doing was haram. I still love her, but we cut off all contact with each other. I always make dua that we marry and for her wellbeing. Can I make dua to marry someone I was in a haram relationship with and will Allah accept it? I have repented and I always ask forgiveness for being in a haram relationship.
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for ending that relationship for the sake of Allah, and for keeping yourself from repeating the same mistake.
It is permissible for you to ask your Lord that you be with this girl for marriage. It doesn’t matter what your history with her was, rather it shows her that you respect her enough to pull away from the illicit and come back in a permissible fashion. Why wait? Discuss it with your family and send forth a proposal to her father. Pray istikhara before you embark on this, and make sure that you are proposing her according to the prophetic advice.
Marry for Piety
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim] I don’t doubt your choice, but you should be sure that you genuinely feel that she would be good for your religion and would run your family according to the pleasure of Allah and His Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace). This would give you what you want and what you need.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.